In my last post I ended with the Carthusian saying that, in
the Prayer of the Heart, the heart itself is eventually transfigured by the
Crucifixion and Resurrection: a saying that if it is not simplistic is
extremely profound, complex and difficult. So I have been giving it some
thought, and prayer, and I think that there is perhaps a way to understand it.
Let’s begin
with that word “transfigured”. it has dictionary meanings, but in the discourse
of a contemplative monk it should be taken, surely, in a Biblical, Gospel
sense. There is, in the Gospel, that moment when Yeshua goes up on a mountain –
traditionally Mount Tabor, on the summit of which my daughter was married –
with Peter, James and John. There, all of a sudden, he is “transfigured before
them; his face shining as the sun, and his garments became white as the
light." Moses and Elijah appear, talking with him (according to Luke,
about his fatal journey to Jerusalem); the voice of God is heard, saying “This
is my beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased: listen to him.” When the
terrified disciples eventually look up, Moses and Elijah have gone, and Yeshua
is there looking normal and telling them not to be afraid.
So
“transfigured” implies a change not only of appearance but of nature: in the
Gospel story, Yeshua’s brief and flaming change from human to divine and back
again. In what way can our heart, then, be “transfigured” by the Crucifixion
and Resurrection? Coming as it does after an astonishingly profound and
beautiful chapter on the Prayer of the Heart and the silence that we must
learn, not to create but to accept, I think this transfiguration is in a sense
a reminder. The prayer of silence, it tells us, is not a cruise. It is not a
peaceful, meditative, lengthy polishing of an ideal or higher self we are
growing into (as it might be in Buddhism). As we are learning the prayer of the
heart, the prayer of silence, the Crucifixion and Resurrection are there to add
a necessary dimension of verticality, and a vivid reminder of suffering.
I have thought
a lot recently about the gradual transformation of Yeshua bar Yosef, teknon (builder) of Nazareth, into
Yeshua the Meschiach, the Anointed (i.e. crowned) Saviour. Toward the middle or
end of this process I seem to see something like a rage of compassion. As he looks around him with new, or gradually
renewing, eyes what he sees is an ocean of suffering: I imagine him feeling
like the only physician in Aleppo after weeks of bombing. It is of course a
suffering he is destined wholly and entirely to share in what is perhaps the
acme of his humanity.
For us,
that sharing is a message we cannot and must not evade. Yet in this context
that message is not simple: it is not simply telling us to stop being Mary and
become Martha. It is telling us that we must, in the midst of pursuing the
prayer of the heart, let that very heart be transfigured, first by the Cross
and then by Easter. The Cross will enrich our search by the hugeness of its
suffering, by the enormity of its sacrifice, by the price of its blood. It will
remind us that we are not embarked on a development of our self to greater
heights and/or depths. We are embarked on a relationship that will lead us to
places unknown and barely guessed at. And Easter, the Resurrection, will remind
us that that relationship and the voyage it entails is one of our salvation,
and thus of a scarcely imaginable joy.
Coda:
So many of these words have become
counters in discourse. “Salvation”: what does it mean, really? Literally: to be
safe, to end up safe, home free, saved from danger on every side, from the
bullet that flies in the noonday, from the bomb that kills in the night, from
the cancer that stalks us everywhere, from the inferno to which we consign
ourselves daily in our great and small refusals of love. To be plucked from the
jaws of peril and set down in a garden of pure raindrop love. But like Yeshua,
we can only be resurrected if we go through death ourselves. That it is not
eternal, not definitive, we proclaim in every recitation of the Creed. Learning
the prayer of the heart may help us actually to believe this incredible
promise.
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