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Sunday, 8 December 2013

SNAKES, CRUNCHY INSECTS AND THE BIG DIPPER





























Donatello, John the Baptist


This second Sunday in Advent we were invited to contemplate that disconcerting hippie, Jochanan the Baptizer. Not a friendly type, yet he seems to have attracted big crowds, who came to him, not vice versa. In other words, they went out of town, mostly on foot, and travelled into the desert to hear this famous prophet. He was not a nice man. He wasn’t particularly clean, dressed in what appear to have been tatters, as thin as an anorexic, or as you and even I would be if we lived in 115F heat and fed on locusts and wild honey. (NB: he was ahead of his time, as we are now coming back to eating crunchy insects; but if you have to catch them first you’re not going to put back a lot of the calories. Also, have you ever tried to find wild honey?) So he was a bit of a famous spectacle, worth half a day’s hike to go and see. Moreover, he harangued people, which they always like: he told them, in a voice hoarse with shouting, that they were on a fast train to a blank wall, and that the only way out of the misery they were creating for themselves was to drown.
To drown in the river, and then come up and out. What you will have drowned, he said, is the Old You which, whatever you thought of it, wasn’t worth squat, and definitely not worth saving. What you come back on dry land with is the New You, which at least has a chance.
It worked. Masses of people came out to see him, drowned the Old They in the Jordan, and emerged looking slightly dazed and wondering what the New They would look and feel like.
Then there arrived some classy types, the spiritual establishment, who came out – why? The story doesn’t say explicitly, but one assumes they came out polite, intellectually interested, but with a seriously sceptical attitude, to take a look and possibly sneer. Yet something seems to have happened, because at least some of them appear to have got in the waiting-queue for the drowning. And at that point Jochanan lost his temper. Brood of vipers, he called them: crawly and vile, yet with a kind of low cunning. What got into you, he asked them furiously, to make you come here to escape what’s coming to you?
We don’t know what they replied. One or two may have ended up persuading him they were sincere; we can assume that the others left in a huff, growling at that uncouth and unmannerly man.
But having touched on what was coming, he went on to say that there was Someone on the way much, much more powerful than he, who was coming with a flail, to sort out the harvested corn on His threshing-floor. What I’m doing, he said, is giving you a chance to turn from weightless, pointless and useless chaff into decent grain which He can then bake into pita bread to feed the next five thousand poor hungry buggers. Do it now, before the flail arrives. Go drown; come up; go home. Be new.

What, one wonders, did they feel like during the next week, when the circumstances of their lives clearly hadn’t changed? One suspects that they sort of trudged on, trying to remember that they were now grain, and wondering what that was going to mean. Until the man Jochanan had told them about did arrive. But that’s another story.

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